3rd Trimester & Remembering Lot's Wife

28 Weeks This time - 28 Weeks Last time

Can you believe it???

I sure cant! I am on the home stretch now. This pregnancy seems to have flown by but at the same time I feel like I have been pregnant forever! (But that could just have to do with the fact I got pregnant so soon after my last pregnancy.) Things are really going well and for the most part I am feeling great. I seem to be lacking in energy lately, but I think that is just because I spend my whole day chasing a toddler around. That task is getting more and more challenging the larger I get.

This whole year seems to be flying by. Jeff only has 5 or 6 weeks of school left which BLOWS MY MIND! I have lived in this college town for 7 years now, which is almost a third of my life! And to think that we will finally be breaking free brings me so much joy I can hardly contain myself. Don't get me wrong, I have loved every minute of my time here and it does also make me sad that this phase of our life is quickly coming to an end. These past few years have been the best! Filled with so much joy, adventure, excitement, trials, friends, and major life changing events. No doubt I will always look back on these wonderful and dare I say perfect years.

However, I'm not going to lie, I am scared to DEATH for real life! In a few short weeks we will go from being a little Utah dwelling, college going, family of three to being CA living, full-time working, hardly see your husband, stay-at-home mom, family of 4!

I have recently been thinking a lot about a talk that Elder Holland gave just over a year ago here at BYU. And it was actually reprinted in the January's Ensign called "The Best is Yet to Be." This is such an AWESOME talk! If you haven't read it, READ IT. If you have read it, READ IT AGAIN. I've even made it easy for you, just click on the title and it will take you straight there. It is such a powerful talk. He talks about how we need to "look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future."

He reminds us about the story of Lot when he was told by the Lord to get his family out of Sodom and Gomorrah and to not look back. Those of us who are familiar with the story know that Lot's wife did look back and she turned into a pillar of salt. Some feel that this was a pretty harsh punishment for just looking back, but Elder Holland explains that "She wasn't just looking back, in her heart she wanted to go back. . . Her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future."

That last statement hit me pretty hard. As we entered this last year of school (and before we found out I was expecting) I was begging Jeff to stick around here for the summer. I was not very anxious to leave this perfect little bubble I live in. I was scared for the future and really did want to hold on to what we were currently doing for as long as we could. After re-reading this, I realized that this mindset I had was not a mindset of faith. In the talk he emphasizes again how "Faith is always pointed toward the future."

He explains how Lot's Wife "Doubted the Lord's ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently, she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind." I didn't realize it, but this was the mindset I had. This talk really helped me to stop dwelling on where I am and to look forward to where I am going. And I know that it will be great because I know it is the right time to be moving on. And of course I will remember these past years and I will continue to learn from our experiences here but I will no longer dwell on them and long for them.

Elder Holland ends the talk by saying, "God doesn't care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go. . . Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the 'high priest of good things to come' (Hebrews 9:11)"

Seriously, what a great reminder to me. I feel like they put this in the Ensign that month just for me. It was exactly the reminder that I needed! Now, don't get me wrong, I am still scared to death about what next year has in store for us. Such things as where we will live, and how on earth will I be able to care for 2 little ones under 2 are always on my mind. But I do have faith in the future. I do have faith that God will continue to bless me and my family, especially as we are doing the things he has commanded us to do. I am excited for the new adventures, experiences, trails, and joy that is to come and I have faith that indeed,

"The Best is yet to be!"