So I was asked to speak in church last Sunday. (And by last Sunday I mean last October 2010. I found this on my unfinished post list and decided better late than never right? So this was all written a year ago.) As always it was a great experience for me (and hopefully those who listened as well). I am one of the weird people that actually like to give talks in church. I like to prepare them, I like public speaking, I just like them so I was excited.
Usually preparing them comes pretty easy to me but this time not so much. I was asked to speak on a talk given by President Thomas S. Monson during the Relief Society General Broadcast 2010. It was an awesome talk, but for some reason I didn't know how I wanted to put it into words or even what parts I wanted to focus on. I don't like to just follow the talk and say "He talked about this, then he continues on to say this" if you know what I mean. I prefer to use the talk as my main source for that topic and still write it mostly from my own research and experience. It was so weird that I had such a hard time but the ideas finally started coming after a full week of preparing. As a result of me having a hard time, I typed it up word for word which is something I normally do not like to do. I figured since it was already typed up I would share it with my readers who were not there to hear it. (The main reason I was originally waiting to post this was because I wanted to put in the proper citations since I was posting it for others to see, but I never got around to doing that, but it all comes from President Thomas S. Monson's Talk Charity Never Faileth which can be found here. )
Here goes:
I want to start off with a little story he shared and as I read it I want you to try and guess what the main topic of his talk was.
“A young couple, Lisa and John, moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Lisa looked out the window and watched her next-door neighbor hanging out her wash.
“That laundry’s not clean!” Lisa exclaimed. “Our neighbor doesn’t know how to get clothes clean!”
John looked on but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, Lisa would make the same comments.
A few weeks later Lisa was surprised to glance out her window and see a nice, clean wash hanging in her neighbor’s yard. She said to her husband, “Look, John—she’s finally learned how to wash correctly! I wonder how she did it.”
John replied, “Well, dear, I have the answer for you. You’ll be interested to know that I got up early this morning and washed our windows!””
As he shared this story a lot of thoughts ran through my head on where he might be going with it, you might be surprised as I was to hear that the title of this talk is
Charity Never Faileth.
When I first heard this story, I thought it was cute but charity was certainly not the first word that came to mind. When I think of charity I think about Christ and how he “went about doing good” which is how I think we most often try to implement it. We show charity when we try to give relief to the poor, afflicted, and distressed. I also think about what we find in
Moroni 7: 45
45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Indeed, all of these things are charity but President Monson goes on to talk another aspect of charity. “Are we looking through a window which needs cleaning? Are we making judgments when we don’t have all the facts?
None of us is perfect. I know of no one who would profess to be so. And yet for some reason, despite our own imperfections, we have a tendency to point out those of others. We make judgments concerning their actions or in-actions.
There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: “Judge not.”
We have heard about these two topics of Judging and Charity quite a bit, but personally I have never made a connection between the two before. Although we most frequently hear “Judge Not,” Judgement is actually an important use of our agency. We need to make judgments of ideas, situations, and the people in and throughout our lives on a daily basis. We even need to use it in order to keep some of God’s commandments.
Unfortunately it is far too easy to judge unrighteously and therefore it requires great care and caution in its usage.
3 Nephi 14:2–5 teaches us,
"With what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Or how wilt thou say to thy brother: Let me pull the mote out of thine eye—and behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
Thou hypocrite, first cast the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother's eye."
In other words, “why beholdest though what you think is dirty laundry at your neighbor’s house but considerest not the soiled window in your own house?”
It is quite sad to think about how we are so quick to judge others whether it is their looks, their weight, their job, their family, etc., when each of us have so many faults of our own. This is where I think the Charity connection comes in to play.
President Monson quotes Mother Teresa, in saying “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”5 The Savior has admonished, “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.”6 I ask: can we love one another, as the Savior has commanded, if we judge each other? And I answer—with Mother Teresa: no, we cannot.”
We need to think of Charity as “The Pure Love of Christ” which is the highest, noblest, and strongest kind of love there is. As we do this and as we truly think of everyone as the son or daughter of God that they are and maybe even think of them as the King or Queen they have the potential to become we will be far less likely to judge them.
President Monson considers charity to be the opposite of criticism and judging.
We rarely see the negative impact that our criticism and judgments have on others. Think of the mother who is trying to teach her children reverence but receives negative comments and glances about their noise. Think about a new convert or guest who feels unwelcome here in the Lords House. The examples are endless and what we say and do DO matter.
When I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd child I was scared to tell anyone including family because I was worried about the judgments that would be made. Our first child was barely 7 months old at the time, we did not have insurance, Jeff was still in school and I was not working. I had no idea how things would work out and as a result had to rely completely on the Lord. It was a great learning experience for me and in the process of it helped me realized how frequently we do judge everyone around us. However it also taught me not to worry so much about what others think which brings me to my next point.
Charity is resisting the impulse to become offended easily.
We have been counseled numerous times to not be so easily offended.
President Ezra Taft Benson gave a frequently reference talk entitled Beware of Pride
He said “Our enmity toward God takes on many labels, such as rebellion, hard-heartedness, stiff-neckedness, unrepentant, puffed up, easily offended, and sign seekers. The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren’t interested in changing their opinions to agree with God’s.
It is interesting to link our enmity or hate toward God to being easily offended
The scriptures testify that the proud are easily offended and hold grudges. (See 1 Ne. 16:1–3.) They withhold forgiveness to keep another in their debt and to justify their injured feelings.
Think of the many who are less active members of the Church because they were offended and their pride will not allow them to forgive or fully sup at the Lord’s table.”
I agree that we as a people in general do become offended far too easily but how would you feel if you knew that it was your judgment or criticism that caused a less active member to leave the church. Now this is clearly a sensitive subject, I just want you to see how the two (Judgement and taking offense) go hand in hand. Neither is of God and neither display Charity or the Pure love of Christ.
Elder Marion D. Hanks of the Presidency of the Seventy gives some good thoughts on this subject as well, he said:
“What is our response when we are offended, misunderstood, unfairly or unkindly treated, or sinned against, made an offender for a word, falsely accused, passed over, hurt by those we love, our offerings rejected? Do we resent, become bitter, hold a grudge? Or do we resolve the problem if we can, forgive, and rid ourselves of the burden?
“The nature of our response to such situations may well determine the nature and quality of our lives, here and eternally.” (Ensign, Jan. 1974, p. 20.)
Now this is one of those things that is easily said than done but living a life when you are easily offended is not fun for you or those around you. I can testify that as we choose not to take offense, and it is indeed our choice, we are greatly blessed. It will make all of our relationship both at home and away so much better, so much stronger and it will also make our relationship with our Father in Heaven stronger as we are acting and responding as He would have us act, with Charity.
Pres. Monson says:
"True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere.
There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted.
The charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions,
The kind of charity that forgives,
The kind of charity that is patient.
The charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.
In a hundred small ways, all of you wear the mantle of charity. Life is perfect for none of us. Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life. May we recognize that each one is doing their best to deal with the challenges which come their way, and may we strive to do our best to help out.."
Charity is one of, if not the most important characteristics we can possess.
Moroni declared, “Except ye have charity ye can in nowise be saved in the kingdom of God.” (Moroni 1o:12)
I know this to be true. I am so grateful for this talk that President Monson gave because it opened my eyes to what charity really is and it is so much more than I ever realized. There is no reason for us to judge or criticize one another. We must love each other as God us, which again in no easy task. It requires us to be conscious about our every thought and every action. But I know that as we strive to do so we will not only draw ourselves closer to our Heavenly Father and closer those around us, but the entire quality of our lives will improve.
I would like to close with President Monson’s words,
“Charity never faileth.” May this timeless truth, guide you in everything you do. May it permeate your very souls and find expression in all your thoughts and actions.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
10-27-10
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