The Worst Thing in the World.

I've been rather blessed in my life.  I honestly have nothing to complain about.  I have certainly had trails, heartache, and pain but after this past weekend, I am convinced that I now know what the worst thing in the world is.  Do you know what it is?

Watching a child suffer.

Little Miss has quite the traumatic weekend, and as a result, so did I.  Hers was physically traumatic, my was emotionally traumatic.

(P.S. this is an EXTREMELY long winded version of the story for journals sake.  sorry.)

On Saturday night Jeff got home about 7:00.  We played as a family for a while and I mentioned I needed to go to A&W and pick up some Root Beer (the only soda I still drink, but it HAS to be straight from the tap).  We had a coupon and were going to a Super Bowl shindig the following day so I figured it was a good excuse to indulge in one of our favorite things.  Jeff wanted to make it a family affair and the kids took SUPER late naps (Woke up just before 6:00) so we all loaded up and headed out.  

A&W just happens to be very close to Target.  Jeff and I LOVE Target, the kids were still happy and we were about out gummies so a quick trip seemed appropriate.  The boys and girls split up each browsing our respective clothes.  While I was looking around Em decided it would be a great idea to practices her recently developed flying skills that she usually does on coffee tables.  Coffee tables provide a smidge - and by smidge I mean tons - more support.  I looked at her right as she started to lift her legs, moved as quick as I could and yelled to her to stop but neither my movement nor my words were effective and she dove straight to the ground and landed flat on the top of her head.  

I scooped her up as quick as I could.  Her neck is what I was worried about the most because she was literally perpendicular to the ground, but her neck seemed fine.  Next thought, concussion.  Although it was the carpeted part of the store, it really is more like fabric covered concrete so it was still a hard hit.  I can still hear the sound of the thud echoing in my head.  I am of course feeling like THE WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD at this moment.  But you must know, this girl is unstoppable!  You know the little straps on the cart that are supposed to hold my little ones in place?  Yeah mean nothing to her.  No matter how tight I do it, she always, ALWAYS finds a way out.  I have no idea how, it is quite the mystery and to be honest, quite the skill, but not one I appreciate at this age of curiosity.

I head over to Jeff to tell him I think it is time we take off when Em's cry goes from screaming to gagging.  Next thing I know she is puking ALL OVER me, a little on her, and thankfully hardly any on Target.  I shout for Jeff to come over quickly.  Honestly, I was not so worried about the vomit as I was at what it meant about Em's condition.  P had many a falls in his day, but none resulted in throwing up. In my head I was most certainly freaking out but I held it together (1 for Em, (2 because I was in public, (3 I figure the vomit drew enough attention, a hysterical mom was not necessary.  Jeff told me to go to the bathroom while he got help to clean it up.  

In the bathroom Em was much more calm.  Her cry went from an "I'm in pain" cry to a "What just happened" whine.  I felt so bad for her.  We cleaned up the best we could, took off our jackets which luckily got the brunt of the blow, and had a good little talk to calm her down and tell her she was OK.  Honestly, after that she was back to herself.  When we got back to Parker and Daddy she was so excited to see them and immediately wanted to sit with Parker.  She wanted to go see the Dora poster that was hanging by the books and discovered Elmo too.  We obviously ended our trip much earlier than planed but so far, she seemed to be fine.  She had a few snacks, stayed alert in the car, and when we got home was running am-muck like nothing ever happened.

We kept her up late just to monitor her a little longer, but she really seemed fine.  We checked her pupils multiple times getting normal results every time.  I convinced myself she was fine and put her to bed.  She slept great.  I went in a few times and every time she responded immediately even to just saying her name.  

It wasn't until hours later when I was about to get in bed that I started having doubts.  I decided to called the advice nurse just to be safe.  The throwing up in relation to the fall is really what freaked me out.  I figured I'd rather be safe than sorry.  So after a 23 minute chat with the nurse and doctor they agreed with me and said to just check on her a few more times during the night.  I was relieved that I am an attentive mother and do notice my child's normal vs. weird behaviors.  So all in all, despite the mess, probably a massive head-ache on her part, and a mini heart attack on mine, all was well. Little did I know this was the minor event of the weekend.

So Sunday, she really was 100% back to herself.  I was relieved.  Church was normal.  We came home and had some family time and then headed to my folks for dinner.  Dinner was great and then came dessert.  Em is quite possibly the worlds most picky eater unless you mention the word "Treat."  Say that and she will eat it.  My mom brings out these beautiful Lemon Meringue Parfait that looks something like this, but her's were prettier.

Source

Em runs to grandpa's lap because he is always willing to share.  She takes one massive bite of the meringue that was on top climbed down and went back to playing.  The rest of us finished our delicious desserts.  Then Em ran up to me to give me a hug.  Looked at her face and noticed a big bump right above her right eye.  I call for my mom and as I do I notice that more are starting to appear.  This is when I kinda start freaking out.  My mom got a wash cloth so we could wipe off whatever got on it.  At first I thought she just touched something and then touched her eye, but then the hives started to move down toward her mouth so we new it must have been something she ate.  The only thing new was the meringue.  Despite my efforts to feed her eggs multiple times she has never tried them so it must have been the Eggs.

I called the advice nurse for the second time in less than 24 hours for this child.  While I was waiting I jumped online and started researching Egg allergies and reactions.  Reading about how serious they were and all the things that could happen freaked me out even more.  I ran back to em, by this time she is still trying to play but is obviously having a hard time breathing.  She was drooling like crazy.  It was almost as if someone had turned on a faucet in her mouth, it was a constant stream.  My heart was truly broken as I am watching my little girl suffer and I am on the phone trying to figure out what I can do to help.  It wasn't until 30 minutes after it happened that the nurse finally said go to the store and get some Benadryl I sent Jeff out the door before she even finished telling me.  

Soon after he left Em started getting worse.  Gagging and trowing up, she clearly could not breath well. When I told the nurse she said scratch that, go to the ER.  We call Jeff and send him back so we can take off.  P stayed with my parents and we headed off to get her some help.  I hated that in the mean time she was just suffering.  I could see the look in her eyes that she was wondering what was going on and why I couldn't make it all better.  She just looked so longingly into my eyes and I wanted more than anything at that moment for me to be ill rather than her.  The poor girl was also dead tired, it was about 3 hours past nap time at this point and I knew the drive would knock her out.  The thought of her sleeping while not being able to breath scared me to death, but my mom and the nurse said it would be fine just to watch and make sure she was still breathing.  

Jeff dropped us off and before I even made it to the check in desk a nurse asked me, "Are you here for the baby?" I said yes and she let me right back.  I was so grateful!  By this time, her face was still a little swollen, but the hives were pretty much gone.  She took all her vitals and checked her breathing, everything seemed ok.  We had to wake her up to get her weight.  The little peanut is still only 20.5 lbs. They took us back to our room - and by room I mean curtain - and the doctor was in pretty quick.  We talked and he examined her.  Her throat and tongue were not swollen, although she was till drooling a little.  Her hives were gone, but her face was still red and a little swollen, but overall she was already looking and doing much better.  He prescribed a little Benadryl and said he would be back in a little to check her progress.  

All she wanted to do was sit with Daddy.

We got to do the honors of giving her the meds, but she took them like a champ.  It was minutes until she was back to her curious and talkative little self.  We were laughing and singing.  She was exploring every inch of that little room.  When the doctor came back she was hiding and laughing, clearly she was feeling much better.  He did another quick check and then sent us on our way.  

Although we are SO grateful that she is OK, a part of me - $170 to be exact - wishes that we stuck with the first advice to just give her the Benadryl ourselves.  If they would have given her a shot or something maybe I would feel better about it, but it was quite the bummer when they came in and told us that was our co-pay.  Jeff said for that price they could have at least thrown in a bottle of Benadryl for us since the doctor told us to pick some up on the way home.  O-well, your child's health is worth any price.  

When we got back G & G's she was so excited to see Parker.  She was really back to herself which we were all so grateful for.  We came home had family prayer and put them to bed early since neither of them really got naps.  They slept like logs.  I wish I could say the same thing for myself.  I woke up every 2 hours on the nose.  

I honestly could not stop thinking about how horrible it is to watch your children suffer.  How I wished that my simple kiss was more powerful and could actually heal.  How I wish it was me instead of her.

Next up, I need to get her tested to make sure that it is egg that she is allergic to.  If so how savvier.  And then we will have to figure out how to live without eggs.  Did you know that they are basically in EVERYTHING!  No joke.

Today I feel so blessed.  Blessed that she is OK.  Blessed that she handled everything so well.  Blessed to have modern medicine.  Blessed to have a husband who remains calm despite my desire and natural tendency to freak out.  Blessed to have such supportive friends and family.  Blessed to have the Gospel that helps me remember that no matter what, good or bad, in the long run, everything really is going to be OK.

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  

It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." 

~ Elizabeth Stone

True dat!  But I still wouldn't trade it for the world!