I'm a Widow

O-Kay, so not really; but kind of. Jeff is out of town on business for the next 4 weeks. I feel like it could not have come at a worse time. There are tons of things going on right now, P has been a major pill lately (you know like those HUGE ones that you cant seem to swallow), Em is just feisty and has a temper that I did not know was possible and by the way is STILL NOT SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT. Lets just say, this past week was really hard and I even had my husband around. So thinking about last week and then magnifying since I'll be alone and multiplying that by 4 what quite overwhelming.

To say I had my fair share of breakdowns this weekend would be an understatement. I feel bad for my poor children because I am just not the fun mom that I usually am/want to me. My patients is short, I'm a grump, I'm depressed, and I am just physically and mentally exhausted. But after a good cry, OK ... maybe more than one ... and an obviously inspired lesson just for me at church today I am feeling better about things.

Now you should know I am serving in Young Women's right now (which I LOVE by the way), so my mindset going into this lesson was, "hum.. I wonder what the girls are going to learn/get out of the lesson today." And it was taught by a member of the bishopric, so I knew it would be special and something THEY really needed. The lesson started out with a short movie, "Only a Stonecutter." It is the true story of John Moyle, a stone Mason. He joined the church in England, then brought his family to the states, then walked across the plains with them, made it to Salt Lake and bought 106 acres of land just north of Salt Lake City. Just as they were getting settled in, the Prophet Brigham Young extended a call to John Moyle to work as a stone mason on the Salt Lake Temple. He of course willingly accepted the call. The wife expressed her concerns of how he would be able to fulfill this call and still take care of his family and farm responsibilities; he had only positive things to say (their interaction reminded me so much of Jeff and I.) He made it possible for his family to have all the tools they needed to run the farm while he was away working on the temple (ie: leaving the horses at home and WALKING to Salt Lake City). This meant he woke up at 2:00 AM every Monday to start his 22 mile walk to Salt Lake City. He would stay with his newly married son who lived in Salt Lake throughout the week and then would walk back home every Friday and would get there about Midnight. He would wake up early Saturday and fulfill a weeks worth of farm chores in one day. Would spend Sunday with his family and at church and then would start all over again Monday morning at 2:00 AM. He did this for 20 YEARS!!!!

After hearing this, what on earth am I complaining about 4 weeks??? And I only have 2 children and no farm to take care of. Not to mention having my family, my in-laws, and lots of friends to keep me company and help if I need it. What a much needed lesson. I am so grateful for the blessing I have, which I know are so many. I truly have nothing to complain about. Now obviously, these next 4 weeks are not going to be easy for me, but I will be just fine. As one of my teachers from school taught me,

"Life is hard, but we can do hard things."

This statement is so true! I think about it a lot. And after a wonderful evening at my in-laws and listening to the P-man laugh hysterically with his uncle for what seemed like hours, and looking in to Em's amazingly beautiful, innocent, & loving eyes as I sang to her before bed, I am feeling good. I am feeling refreshed. I am feeling positive. And I am not feeling lonely anymore.

Heavenly Father knows what we can handle, and knows what we need right when we need it. I am so grateful for a loving Father who knows me, and only wants what is best for me. Obviously none of this will make me miss my hubby any less, but the adjusted perspective has already made all the difference in the world. And all I can say is thank goodness for technology & weekends!