So I have been thinking quite a bit lately, I know a dangerous thing. As I have been running around with Parker and playing with him, I cant help but think that these are the last couple of weeks of just me and him. And as excited as I am to have this little lady join our family, I'm not going to lie,
I am also scared to death!
Our little life is so perfect right now. I have a perfect, happy, healthy child and I finally feel like I have the hang of this motherhood thing. In a few short weeks everything will change. I am so excited to have a little girl, but I cant help but worry about P. The first few weeks and even months a newborn sucks up ALL of your time. I know Parker is still young, which will hopefully make this transition a little easier, but he knows when he isn't getting the attention he needs and wants. And knowing that is going to happen just kills me! Now I know we will have family and friends that will be more than happy to take him and play with him, but when will be the next time I get to play with just him? Perhaps this sounds silly to you, but it is a major concern for me.
We really lucked out because our transition into parenthood was a piece of cake. We really did not have any issues with it and since P was such an easy baby we were still able to do all of the things we used to do; he really spoiled us! But I have heard from SOOOO many people that the transition from one child to two is the hardest and I can totally see why. How am I going to be able to give the love and attention I want and need to give to each child? How will I keep my sanity amidst the craziness? How will I make time for my wonderful husband? How will be build a good relationship with our kids once he starts working the crazy hours I know he will work? And these are just a few of the things going through my head.
Now I know that this was Heavenly Fathers plan, and as a result I know that everything will be OK. And I just need to yet again turn to my favorite hymn and let him "Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene; one step enough for me." But it is SO HARD!
I guess for now I will just pray for strength and take it one day at a time, because really that is all I can do. But any advice from you parents of 2 or more would be MUCH appreciated! Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way. And I still don't even believe it is real . . . I am going to be a mother of 2!
Wish me luck!!!
On a side note, I have about 7 weeks to go and I'm feeling great for the most part. I'm really hoping and praying she decides to come sooner rather than later and am doing all I can to make that happen. I've started walking with a friend a couple miles a day and it has not only lifted my spirits but made me feel better physically too. So I'm planning on keeping that up until I pop. Although I'm smaller this time around, I still feel bigger and certainly not as cute. Last time my belly went straight out and this time I just feel big and thick. I had been sleeping GREAT until I started telling everyone I was sleeping great. It was seriously 8-10 hours straight at night. Now I'm back to 2 or 3 hours and then it takes me forever to fall back asleep. I guess I should have kept my good sleeping a secret.
Everything else is going great and I'm just trying to cherish my last few weeks of just me and P. I try and pretend I'm not pregnant and still crawl around and play with him but it is a challenge and exhausting. I recently was able to switch insurances and I can now deliver where I delivered Parker which I am SOOOOO relived about!! I had a really good experience there, not to mention it is one block from my house, so I am VERY happy about that!
Jeff only has 2 days of classes left which is hard to believe but we are very excited about that! And even more excited that our family will be here in less than 2 weeks to celebrate his graduation with us! Parker will be so excited to have his grandparents here. So we have quite a bit to look forward to in these next couple of weeks which I'm sure will only make time pass more quickly. Sorry this was a long and boring post with no pictures, but I really just needed to get my thoughts out of my head. I feel a lot better already! Thanks for listening! :)
Comments
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. I'm so sorry about the no-sleep thing. Love you!