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A Mother of Two?

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So I have been thinking quite a bit lately, I know a dangerous thing. As I have been running around with Parker and playing with him, I cant help but think that these are the last couple of weeks of just me and him. And as excited as I am to have this little lady join our family, I'm not going to lie,
I am also scared to death!

Our little life is so perfect right now. I have a perfect, happy, healthy child and I finally feel like I have the hang of this motherhood thing. In a few short weeks everything will change. I am so excited to have a little girl, but I cant help but worry about P. The first few weeks and even months a newborn sucks up ALL of your time. I know Parker is still young, which will hopefully make this transition a little easier, but he knows when he isn't getting the attention he needs and wants. And knowing that is going to happen just kills me! Now I know we will have family and friends that will be more than happy to take him and play with him, but when will be the next time I get to play with just him? Perhaps this sounds silly to you, but it is a major concern for me.

We really lucked out because our transition into parenthood was a piece of cake. We really did not have any issues with it and since P was such an easy baby we were still able to do all of the things we used to do; he really spoiled us! But I have heard from SOOOO many people that the transition from one child to two is the hardest and I can totally see why. How am I going to be able to give the love and attention I want and need to give to each child? How will I keep my sanity amidst the craziness? How will I make time for my wonderful husband? How will be build a good relationship with our kids once he starts working the crazy hours I know he will work? And these are just a few of the things going through my head.

Now I know that this was Heavenly Fathers plan, and as a result I know that everything will be OK. And I just need to yet again turn to my favorite hymn and let him "Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene; one step enough for me." But it is SO HARD!


I guess for now I will just pray for strength and take it one day at a time, because really that is all I can do. But any advice from you parents of 2 or more would be MUCH appreciated! Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way. And I still don't even believe it is real . . . I am going to be a mother of 2!


Wish me luck!!!

On a side note, I have about 7 weeks to go and I'm feeling great for the most part. I'm really hoping and praying she decides to come sooner rather than later and am doing all I can to make that happen. I've started walking with a friend a couple miles a day and it has not only lifted my spirits but made me feel better physically too. So I'm planning on keeping that up until I pop. Although I'm smaller this time around, I still feel bigger and certainly not as cute. Last time my belly went straight out and this time I just feel big and thick. I had been sleeping GREAT until I started telling everyone I was sleeping great. It was seriously 8-10 hours straight at night. Now I'm back to 2 or 3 hours and then it takes me forever to fall back asleep. I guess I should have kept my good sleeping a secret.

Everything else is going great and I'm just trying to cherish my last few weeks of just me and P. I try and pretend I'm not pregnant and still crawl around and play with him but it is a challenge and exhausting. I recently was able to switch insurances and I can now deliver where I delivered Parker which I am SOOOOO relived about!! I had a really good experience there, not to mention it is one block from my house, so I am VERY happy about that!

Jeff only has 2 days of classes left which is hard to believe but we are very excited about that! And even more excited that our family will be here in less than 2 weeks to celebrate his graduation with us! Parker will be so excited to have his grandparents here. So we have quite a bit to look forward to in these next couple of weeks which I'm sure will only make time pass more quickly. Sorry this was a long and boring post with no pictures, but I really just needed to get my thoughts out of my head. I feel a lot better already! Thanks for listening! :)

Comments

heather said…
As you know, I don't have any advice about the 2 kids thing. But I DO know something of helping your child build a relationship with a father who has a crazy schedule and might have days in a row where he doesn't see his son at all. It's not fun or easy, but if you make it a priority then you can make it work. I love to take home video of Ry playing with L, because L LOVES watching these over and over and it makes Dad feel more apart of the day. I talk about Dad in every prayer I say with L - which happens multiple times a day. We have little toys that L can play with that help us talk about Dad (like his play stethoscope). And I try to be BIG time excited whenever Ry comes home so L knows that it's a happy thing ... even if he's going through a phase where he's more comfortable with Mom. And when Ry comes home in the evening, I try to really encourage and support him giving L one-on-one time or doing some serious family activities where we are all together having fun (or trying to at least!). It does sometime mean that I don't get as much one-on-one time with Ry - and I'm sure that will continue to happen once this second one comes along - but that just means we need to make it count when we have it. Every couple is different, and what "quality" time is for us might be different than what it is for you and Jeff. So be patient as you work it all out, and understand that it's hard on Jeff too to not be with and play with Parker. That's something that surprised me: that Ryan needed L almost as much as L needs Ryan. I love how the Lord planned out families. He never requires more of us than we can handle, and as long as we keep our line of communication open with Him, He will help us know what works best for our family. Good luck with the adventure!!
April 10, 2010 at 5:19 AM
Crystal and Rosario said…
I think if you weren't at least a little bit worried about handling two children in your life you would be weird! ;-) Seriously, you are a great mom and you will figure it out. I know it is hard though! I only have one kid and I'm struggling to figure everything out with one!
April 10, 2010 at 10:20 AM
Rachel said…
I agree with you--it is SO scary to think of going to easy life with one child--to crazy busy life with two. I was so worried and had all the same concerns as you did. But in the end I think I worried myself a little TOO much. I heard so many people say the same thing--that it was hard, hard, hard. But in the end the transition from 0 kids to 1 kid was way harder than from 1 kid to 2. Really, truly. It wasn't that bad. And I can't imagine life without any of my children. And it's so fun to see them interact and be buddies together. I love it!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. I'm so sorry about the no-sleep thing. Love you!
April 10, 2010 at 2:45 PM
Katrina said…
I understand completely! I've had the same thought cross my mind about having and giving enough time and energy to Kamryn after Kyler is born. However, I have heard from many people in my ward that going from 1 to 2 kids was TONS easier than they thought it ever would be! That really, the first child is excited and involved in the newborn stuff---it's not as separate as you'd think it might be. (I'll let you know if I agree in the next month or so! haha) :) I'm sure P will love his little sister and want to do things with both of you! I'm expecting, with how Kamryn has acted with other friends' babies, that she will be more help than I need ... rather than territorial! :) But every kid is different! I think you'll be able to be a great mom to both of them though and that you shouldn't worry too much about it! If you weren't capable, Heavenly Father wouldn't trust you with both of them! :) You'll be awesome and look back at your worries now and think "What was I so worried about?~?!!" :) (I can say that because I've had some of the same worries---more about it just being me and Kamryn-"The girls"- and suddenly there will be a boy in our crew!) :) haha anyway, sorry about the long comment! Love reading your blog all of the time! :) Keep up the good work!
April 10, 2010 at 6:21 PM
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