I truly cannot believe that it has already been 6 months! Time sure flies! We are so blessed to have this perfect little boy in our home. He is such a doll and he makes us laugh every day!
Here are a few snapshots of him on his 6 month birthday, I know this is a little late now, but the pictures are accurate.
I have the hardest time getting him to smile for the camera when I am taking them alone. He is just in awe at the camera that he just stares it down trying to figure out what it is. So I have to resort to "Peek-a-boo" Photography. It is tricky, but at least I can get a picture or two with a smile in it.
This is an outfit one of our family-friends gave us. We love it, but unfortunately he is such a chunk this was his first and last time wearing it.
I love this picture, it says to me, "Mom, seriously, can we be done. I'm so not amused with this picture taking thing."Here are some of our favorite things about the P-man to date:
- He is a chunk weighing in at 20 lbs
- His head is still HUGE, above the 95% (anytime I see another baby his age, the first thing I notice is how small their head is compared to Parker's, it cracks me up!)
- He LOVES to laugh, and it is now super easy to get him to laugh. Even if he is dead tired, super grumpy, or screaming at the top of his lungs, I can get him to laugh.
- He makes us laugh every day
- He can magically scoot around, although it is a mystery to us how. I put him one place and look a few minutes later and he is still sitting up, but in a completely different place.
- He is a Roly-poly and love to roll from side to side, back to tummy, and tummy to back.
- He is a GREAT sleeper, now averaging12 hours straight at night which I LOVE!
- He is so curious, and is learning new things every day.
- He loves to talk and bounce and fly
- In church when we are singing hymns, he starts to "sing" too, so cute!
- His 2 bottom teeth are really starting to pop and we can see them every time he talks.
- I love how excited he gets anytime we are near or see a picture of another baby. It is so fun to watch.
- He is just so silly, we love him to pieces!!
The Woes of a Postpartum Woman
Now that I have waited almost a month to write this, I am actually feeling a lot better about these things, but I still feel like writing about them (mostly because this is like my journal). And I'm sure you don't consider 6 months postpartum, but it seems fitting for what I'm writing about. So please don't mind my rambling on for a few minutes.
1st subject Nursing
I wanted so badly to nurse my child for the complete first year. Unfortunately we had problems straight from the get go. He wasn't gaining weight, and in fact he was still losing it so they had me supplement. This was hard for me and I probably cried for 10 minutes in the doctors office as he continued to comfort me and tell me that I was still a great mom. It all came down to doing what was best for my child, and since he wasn't gaining this was clearly what was best. Since then, I tried everything. I met with 3 lactation specialist, rented pumps from the hospital, i did everything I could and nothing seemed to help. Finally I came to terms that nursing even one or 2 meals a day is better then none. And then around 5 months, I couldn't even do that any more. I was so depressed as I thought about one of my friends who is strictly nursing twins. She could do it for two and I couldn't even do it for one. It was so hard for me! Since then my milk has completely dried up, but I am doing OK. I realized that Parker is a super healthy and happy boy and he is going to be just fine. And I hoping things will go better with the next one.
2nd Subject Weight Loss
This has also been super hard for me. I am still 20 lbs heavier then I was before Parker. I lost 25 lbs in the first week and since then I have stayed exactly the same! Despite my efforts to exercise, eat well, etc, I'm still a large lady. I have good days and bad, but some times I seriously lose hope. I don't know what to do. And finding time to exercise is a challenge enough. Because it has been such a slow process, I am losing my motivation, but I hate looking at myself everyday. It has been even harder since being back here in UT because a lot of my friends have had kids after me, and I feel like they look just like they did before. I just need to get motivated and do it, but it is hard! So much harder then I ever thought it would be. Right now I'm stuck in limbo where the pants I wore during pregnancy are too big and falling off, but my pre baby pants are like paint when I put them on (on the plus side I could get them on).
3rd Subject loneliness
This is another issue that I didn't think would be a problem for me. But since I got back it has been harder then I thought. See back at home I had people around me all the time. I could still do anything and everything I wanted to do while others played with my child. Now I am her all alone and I honestly struggle to even get the bed made everyday. It is hard to feel so unproductive. I'm getting better each day, and find pride in the little things I am able to do. I am also starting a playgroup which will help a lot too.
On the up side, I do LOVE being a mother, it is the best job in the world! But as you know it does come with it's challenges and these are the few I am dealing with. But life is great, and I am truly blessed in so many ways. Mostly because I get to be the mother of the cutest little dude in the world!
Comments
If this helps, I think I have some pregnancy depression. I started taking a fish oil supliment, and long with other benefits, it is a natual anti-depressant. I think it has made a big difference for me.
I wish I could help more with the postpartum woes, but honestly all I can say is it will get better. I struggled with low milk production and loneliness BIG time. (Actually that is one of the reasons I loved it when you would come over!) I found that just getting out of the house, even going to target for an hour, made my days so much better. And playgroups are for the moms, not the baby! I still have rough days here and there, but the older Makenna gets the easier it gets, I guess you just adjust to being alone most of the time? Either way good luck and make sure you keep those playgroups going!
As far as weight, I dropped 40 pounds in like 2 weeks. But here it is a year later and I still have 10 pounds to go to get back to pre-pregnancy and it is so hard. I can't get the motivation to eat right, I feel bad when I miss working out which makes me eat worse. It is such a horrible cycle. And it kills me to look in the closet at all my clothes I can't fit into.
It is hard being at home all day. I don't live near family and the friends I have aren't always that reliable. It can be hard to do what seems like should be simple tasks - run the dishwasher, mop the floor, vacuum.
But then I just have to take a step back and realize that my boys are such a blessing. And that my husband loves me, even with a few extra pounds. Some days are worse than others but that's just life, right?
I really admire you for writing about what you struggle with! I am so bad at verbalizing things I struggle with and I am sure that just writing things out helps a lot. It helps to know that other people also struggle with things. I haven't experienced the whole post baby state yet, but from what I have heard your experience sounds so normal. I think it takes strong women like you to let people know that it is normal and okay to feel what they are feeling!
If you are ever interested I go walking Mon, Wed, and Fri up around the temple. It is a nice walk and company is always appreciated. :-)
Good luck with everything. I know you've heard this, but it truly gets better. Camilla is now at the point in which she's acting like a little friend... like I can actually play with her, and she keeps me company every day. Say hi to Jeff for us. Love ya!