Right now I am feeling blessed. Not because we just had thanksgiving. Not because I am filled with the Christmas spirit. But because I had a little glimpse of how truly blessed I am.
As you know, baby #4 is on the way (a major blessing in and of itself). I am also blessed with easy pregnancies. Like, I feel bad telling anyone else about them easy pregnancy. My biggest problems this time are leg cramps and acne - which is worse than a hormonal high schooler's I might add. But really, I love being pregnant and especially now that I'm in my second trimester.
This go around I also felt the baby move sooner than the others. I assume it is easier recognize once you have experienced it before. Anyway, all was going great. But the past 2 weeks I have felt nothing. Not that I was feeling it a ton before, I mean the baby is only the size of a bell pepper, but I was feeling it. So when you go a full week of nothing, you start to worry. I tried so hard not to. I reassured my self that many people don't even feel anything until 20 weeks. But since I did feel it before, and I did with all 3 of the other kids as well I did worry. Lots.
Of course I tried taking into account I'm an emotional crazy lady, especially with the hubs out of town I let my thoughts and my emotions get the best of me. So today I finally contacted my doctor, who was not concerned about the pregnancy but was about my worries and invited me to come in today. I felt so validated and appreciative but I was still worried. I shed tears as I prayed for comfort and strength no matter the outcome. I wished so badly that Jeff was here with me instead of having to go in alone, but I was indeed comforted.
They let me back quickly and the Dr. came in with an ultrasound machine. She listened to my concerns and then took a look. I cried when I heard the heartbeat again. I was just overwhelmed with love and peace. The baby is looking good. Per normal Score trend, the head is measuring a week larger than the rest of the body. That brought a smile to my face (although the thought is scary when it comes to deliver, lol). We didn't look to long, but we did discover that my placenta is located in a place where it is basically acting as a cushion between the baby and me so that might be why I haven't been feeling the movements. So once baby gets a little bigger I should feel more.
In hindsight and writing this down now, I feel like it really was nothing to worry about. But I really was worried. Having known people who have had late miscarriages, or gone in for a regular check up to find no heartbeat really made me feel like there was reason to be concerned. I have never felt to sad or scared in pregnancy. It gave me a tiny glimpse into how it might feel to lose a baby. I know I didn't, but I honestly thought I had and was mentally preparing myself for the worst and truly did shed tears of joy when I heard that heartbeat. And you know how Satan is. He takes even your blessings and turn them against you. Giving thoughts like, "Well you have been blessed with 3 amazingly easy pregnancies, and 3 perfectly healthy kids, its about time you had something go wrong. Only seems fair." Does he do that to you too, or just me. Gosh I hate how he gets inside my head and tries so hard to bring me down.
Anyway, I just wanted to remember this little experience. I feel so tremendously blessed for a million and one things, but today especially for the precious little baby that is still growing inside me.
And the big ultrasound is 2 weeks from yesterday! Can't wait!!
As you know, baby #4 is on the way (a major blessing in and of itself). I am also blessed with easy pregnancies. Like, I feel bad telling anyone else about them easy pregnancy. My biggest problems this time are leg cramps and acne - which is worse than a hormonal high schooler's I might add. But really, I love being pregnant and especially now that I'm in my second trimester.
This go around I also felt the baby move sooner than the others. I assume it is easier recognize once you have experienced it before. Anyway, all was going great. But the past 2 weeks I have felt nothing. Not that I was feeling it a ton before, I mean the baby is only the size of a bell pepper, but I was feeling it. So when you go a full week of nothing, you start to worry. I tried so hard not to. I reassured my self that many people don't even feel anything until 20 weeks. But since I did feel it before, and I did with all 3 of the other kids as well I did worry. Lots.
Of course I tried taking into account I'm an emotional crazy lady, especially with the hubs out of town I let my thoughts and my emotions get the best of me. So today I finally contacted my doctor, who was not concerned about the pregnancy but was about my worries and invited me to come in today. I felt so validated and appreciative but I was still worried. I shed tears as I prayed for comfort and strength no matter the outcome. I wished so badly that Jeff was here with me instead of having to go in alone, but I was indeed comforted.
They let me back quickly and the Dr. came in with an ultrasound machine. She listened to my concerns and then took a look. I cried when I heard the heartbeat again. I was just overwhelmed with love and peace. The baby is looking good. Per normal Score trend, the head is measuring a week larger than the rest of the body. That brought a smile to my face (although the thought is scary when it comes to deliver, lol). We didn't look to long, but we did discover that my placenta is located in a place where it is basically acting as a cushion between the baby and me so that might be why I haven't been feeling the movements. So once baby gets a little bigger I should feel more.
In hindsight and writing this down now, I feel like it really was nothing to worry about. But I really was worried. Having known people who have had late miscarriages, or gone in for a regular check up to find no heartbeat really made me feel like there was reason to be concerned. I have never felt to sad or scared in pregnancy. It gave me a tiny glimpse into how it might feel to lose a baby. I know I didn't, but I honestly thought I had and was mentally preparing myself for the worst and truly did shed tears of joy when I heard that heartbeat. And you know how Satan is. He takes even your blessings and turn them against you. Giving thoughts like, "Well you have been blessed with 3 amazingly easy pregnancies, and 3 perfectly healthy kids, its about time you had something go wrong. Only seems fair." Does he do that to you too, or just me. Gosh I hate how he gets inside my head and tries so hard to bring me down.
Anyway, I just wanted to remember this little experience. I feel so tremendously blessed for a million and one things, but today especially for the precious little baby that is still growing inside me.
And the big ultrasound is 2 weeks from yesterday! Can't wait!!
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